can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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