that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
