Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
