Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
