she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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