do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
