Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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