I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
