I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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