Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
