Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
