Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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