I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
