you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
