never play flip cup with pint glasses
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
