can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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