It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
