just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
