worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize