does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
