you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
