Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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