I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
