six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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