im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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