How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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