she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
