Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
