i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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