woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he laminated a picture of his dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
