Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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