She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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