when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
