I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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