As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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