But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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