Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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