As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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