I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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