I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
