11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
