awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize