worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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