he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
