we're blogging at a bar
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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