We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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