yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
