I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
