What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
