She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
