I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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