I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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