I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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