I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
