I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
