he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
