best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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