ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
