okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize