Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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