whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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