No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
