Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
