Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
