did you get engaged???
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
