Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
