Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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