I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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