walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
