8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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